Being the Other

For this assignment, I visited the Museum of Art for the first time. During one semester I did have a class there, but I never stopped to explore the museum. I went in and out of class. Entering this building makes me feel different. Art has never been a passion of mine and I have never understood people who love art and love to interpret what they see in paintings. This has never been my strong point so I avoid art museums. Basically, I feel like I don't belong and I feel judged by fellow museum goers. However, I decided now was a great opportunity to try to understand the art world. Sadly, this museum does not allow pictures to be taken and so I will not have visual artifacts. I will try to explain what I saw and how I felt during this trip to the museum. I expected to feel weird and very out of place. I expected to not know what to do or where to go and I thought I would have to ask a lot of stupid questions. I thought I was going to be surrounded by people with art books, I think they are called portfolios.

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Some of these fears were confirmed when I found out that the MoA does not open until 10 am. I got there at 9:30 and waited outside for a half hour until the doors opened. To my surprise, other people were waiting longer than I had been. I tried to fit in, and so I copied what they were doing which was homework. No one spoke to each other. Everyone was in their own little world. I chose this place because I have a prejudice against "artsy" people. I have come to realize this and am working to reject this prejudice. As I waited outside the MoA, I tried to think back to where this started and I believe it is because my dad never spoke highly of artists or art. I grew up with this and so "art people" were always different than I was. However, while I waited outside, I felt pretty normal because I like to study outside. I felt comfortable yet at the same time I felt that those waiting with me were thinking "oh man, this girl does not belong here".
Once the doors opened, I waited a few minutes before going inside and watched the other people go inside first. I followed one of them and thank goodness I did because I found out that you have to check in your backpack. I double checked at the desk and the security guard lady was very friendly and brought me to a locked closet full of backpacks. I was given a number and told not to take pictures. This made me feel uncomfortable. I don't like to give away my backpack. It's a part of my student identity now. I felt like I was untrustworthy. Did they think I was going to steal a painting? Why was my backpack not allowed with me while I toured the museum?

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Not many people were there but it appeared that everyone had come to the museum by themselves. I thought that was interesting. I expected little cliques of people to visit the museum and quietly discuss each painting and art piece. So seeing individual people was comforting and eye opening. I like doing things by myself so I felt like I had a chance of no longer being "the other". This made me feel a little bit less like an outsider but I still felt like people were watching me the entire time I was there. It might just have been because I was watching them to see how they were behaving. I tried to mimic what they were doing. This meant I stopped in front of paintings and stared at them for minutes but I had no idea what I was supposed to be thinking about or analyzing. No one was talking to each other so I felt I could not violate the social norm and ask someone what they were thinking about. There goes my expectation of asking a ton of stupid questions, saved myself from embarrassment. I saw a girl sitting on one of the benches in one of the exhibits. She was just taking all of the artwork in. I found a different bench and did the same thing but I just felt like all of the portraits were staring at me and I fought the urge to get up. I stayed there for what felt like a long time but it turned out to only be five minutes.

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Later, I found out that I missed the whole bottom floor of the museum. I thought I had seen everything but I missed an awesome exhibit on Christ. I went back a few weeks later for Art after Dark with some friends because I felt comfortable enough to go back. I felt like I had learned enough about the culture but understood that I had more to learn.
I learned a lot from this visit. I really did feel like an outsider and I found myself questioning what I was supposed to be doing nearly the entire time. However, it was not as extreme as I thought it would be. I thought there would be more conversations happening between people but I was pleasantly surprised to find out that the art world is fairly individualistic. Originally, I thought that this would not be similar to what students feel like in a foreign place but I was wrong. While in the MoA, some social norms were very obvious. For example, no one was speaking. I caught on to that very quickly. However, the rule about checking in your backpack was very foreign to me. This opened my eyes to the fact that students that don't quite fit in with the culture will be able to pick up on some social norms rather fast but others will take time and outside help. I think it will be beneficial to all students to go over the norms of the class on the first day of school so that everyone is on the same page. I thought that going over those things was always to help with classroom management but it also benefits kids that are "the other". I also learned that just because someone may seem confident does not mean that they are. When I walked into the MoA, I tried very hard to act like I knew what I was doing but I had to go to the information desk and ask the worker where I had to put my backpack. She gave me a look like "it's your first time here, isn't it" but she was very kind and helped me. Some students may be extremely shy and not ask any questions to clarify what is going on in the classroom. As a teacher, it will be important to develop solid relationships with each student so that they can feel comfortable enough to ask questions. It will also be important for teachers to recognize the efforts that students make to understand discourses other than their own native discourse. Just as I went back to the museum, many students will make efforts to become less of an "other" or students will make efforts to understand "the other". I think as a social studies teacher, there will be endless opportunities to inform students of events that are happening in the community or the world that help dissolve "otherness".  This assignment opened my eyes to being "the other" much more than I thought it would.